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MATT HARVEY IS HERE TO SAVE MY LIFE

This mother fucker right here. THIS.. MOTHER FUCKER.. RIGHT HERE. Our Savior. Our Messiah.

As you know by now, the Reds dealt backup catcher Devin Mesoraco to the Mets for former, soon-to-be again, superstar Matt Harvey. Harvey had amazing seasons in 2013 and 2015, but due to injuries and bad ass partying habits, his performance declined. After some shitty starts, Matt (we’re friends I can call him Matt) found himself in the bullpen, and then ultimately designated for assignment. And the Cincinnati Reds come into the picture, swoop Matt off his feet, and turn him into the Queen City Savior. He saves us, we save his career. A match made in heaven.

The Reds are currently on a two game winning streak, tied for our longest of the year. We also recently won our 10th game (double-digits, bring out the gold bottles), and we’re definitely riding high off of Duvall’s walkoff dick slap.

Do I really expect Matt Harvey to come in and suddenly make us a wild card contender? Absolutely fuckin not. So what do I expect? I expect Harvey to come in and provide some excitement in the club house. Some call it a spark plug. I expect Matt to rejuvenate this fan base, and maybe give us something to be excited about. And for my good friend Matt, I expect him to get back to his old ways. Maybe not the velocity that he once had due to the injuries, but maybe he can get his location back along with that sick curveball.

Cmon, Matt. I’m counting on you. Please don’t let me down.

 

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