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Oregon Wants Their Fans to Get Absolutely Wasted Before Home Games

“The Register Guard-What would you do with more tailgate time?
Barbecue more hot dogs and burgers? Socialize with fellow Oregon fans? Crack open more cold ones?
The University of Oregon wants to add two hours to the time before games where it’s legal to consume alcohol in parking lots around Autzen Stadium. Football fans now can drink legally in the lots for four hours before kickoff.
The Eugene City Council would have to change city code to extend the time that alcohol can be consumed in tailgate reserved parking lots to a total of six hours before games.
Depending on when the game starts, tailgating activities could start as early as 7 a.m.”

I quit reading the article after “could start as early as 7 a.m.

Why?

Because no shit this needs to be a thing. I might call up the Eugene City Council myself to make sure this city code is changed.

If you’re about to watch your favorite team play, then you should undoubtedly be allowed to start drinking at the stadium at 7 in the morning. How else are you supposed to get excited for the game? Could you imagine a 7 a.m. tailgate? Crack open a nice cold Natty Light to go with some eggs and bacon (a normal Tuesday morning for some people), and then just enjoy the day until the sunrises. Toss around the pigskin, maybe sing some karaoke, and then grill the burgers (for the boys) and some brats (for the boys) until it’s time to go cheer on your favorite team.

Sure, there would be a large amount of hospitalizations due to alcohol poisoning. Sure, a lot of people would be arrested for public intoxication or driving under the influence (shouldn’t do that, we don’t promote that stuff here), but it’d be all worth it if it meant you got to go to a college football game sauced out of your mind. I believe every place in America should change their city code if they have some kind of rule like this. Just makes everything more enjoyable for everyone.

And a word of advice for the Oregon tailgaters. Folks, it’s a marathon. Not a sprint.

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