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An Update on Jared Lorenzen

Fun fact: I was actually at Lorenzen’s first game for the River Monsters. It was in Georgetown, KY against the Bluegrass Warhorses. The internet went crazy when his highlights came out.

560+ is absolutely crazy. Imagine how fun it would be to put on all that weight. Literally getting to eat anything you want, whenever you want. That sounds like a fantasy. But then I also can’t imagine how miserable it would be trying to drop that weight. I basically almost die every time I try to run 20 yards, so if I have to lose 200+ pounds to live then I’d just accept my fate and go ahead and die.

Congrats to the Hefty Lefty on attempting to get his life back together. Maybe the Pillsbury Throwboy will make a comeback to professional football.

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